Want to be a part of some exciting research?...

I've recently been listening to the book Dare to Lead by Brene Brown.  I do love me a good Audible book (no this isn't as ad!).

Have you read/listened to it?  Maybe you haven't yet as it's really only just come out, but maybe you've read some of her other work like Braving the Wilderness or Daring Greatly?

Anyway, one of the reasons I love the work of Brene, is because she's done the work.  I mean really done the work (or for other fans of Brene, she's been in the arena!)

You see she's done the research.  In other words she hasn't just sat on her bottom in her lounge and thought up, out of thin air, a series of opinions about the topics she likes to discuss, namely vulnerability and shame.

Brene Brown is, aside from being a qualified social worker, a US based academic.  In this capacity she's spent more than 20 years researching these fascinating facets of our human being-ness, and in turn impacted the lives of many as she's shared her valuable lessons which have come from the research.  From the data.

But why am I sharing this with you here today...so unlike APE you might be thinking.

Well, some of you reading this may not be aware of the fact that aside from being a Chartered Psychologist, I too am an academic, based in a UK University.

My area of interest is Change....how we do it, what stops us, what propels us forward, what inspires us, what hinders us, what stands in our way, what transforms our lives and helps to truly evolve us from the ground up.

------------

It just so happens that I am starting an important piece of research in which I'm going to look at this in detail.  In a way that's not been done before and to do that, I need YOUR help.

If you feel that there is something in your life that you have made a change in, then I would love to hear from you.  I'm going to be conducting interviews with people who have undergone change and compliling a study which will aim to unlock the process of change and in turn help us all in understanding it better.

Right now I am just in the process of making preparations for the study to begin, but I would be so grateful if you would, if you feel you fit the bill, to show your interest by opting in early to find out more.

All you have to do is click on the link below which just asks for your name and best contact details and I will be in touch in the coming months to provide more information about the next steps (you can opt-out at any time so don't worry).

CLICK HERE TO BE TAKEN THROUGH TO THE EARLY OPT-IN

That's all for this week, but please do forward this on to others who you think might be interested in participating.

The more the merrier and the more we will all be able to learn...

...remember, compelling, important work like this, and that of Brene's, can only happen with your help and input, so please consider stepping out of your comfort zones if it's not something you've done before.  I'd be forever grateful.

With many thanks... x

APE SUMMER SCHOOL PART II: The benefits of SLOW living..

Welcome back to week 2 in which we continue our dive into the Art of Slow Living...

Have you ever felt forced to slow down?

What was it that made you do it?

I know that for the clients I've worked with it's ranged from illness, conflict in their lives including family issues, burnout or even the death of a love one that has forced them to stop and take stock.

The lesson I've taken from working with people navigating through these experiences, as well as having experienced it myself, is that there is another way.

We don't, and really shouldn't wait for disaster to strike before we contemplate what we really want to do in our lives, or reevaluate how our lives could look.

So that's what we look at in this short video this week.

Get a pen and paper ready as there's a short exercise at the end that will help you to address the benefits of a slower pace of life.

Til next week!

*To get this delivered straight into your in-box, along with some other behind the scenes snippets, then please CLICK HERE to sign up to our mailing list*

How to have a Multi-passionate career...

Did you always know what you wanted to do for a job when you were little?

What was it?  Did your idea stay the same or did you change you mind over time - maybe like me, when you realised what 'said job' would actually entail in terms of qualifications or actual on the job tasks!

Maybe, also like many of us who have struggled with this, you were conflicted as there were multiple things that took your fancy?  One you day you wanted to be a doctor the next an interior designer?

Although we don't look specifically at being 'Multi-passionate' (MP) as part of the APE Model, the concept naturally crops us as we look at what you do for your work and income.

Inevitably as part of this conversation, what you love to do, versus what you feel you should do, or indeed when you have been considering a career move, we begin to consider the possibility of stepping into a new career that brings you joy.

We also consider how you may be able to neatly fit together pieces of your life-jigsaw that will make up more of a Multi-passioante or Portfolio career.

So that's exactly what I'm looking at in today's video.  Here I tell you a little bit about me and why a MP career was the way forward on my own career path.  I also look at the benefits to addressing your career in this way and how it can actually free you up from a lot of angst about what you might be feeling you 'should be doing'.

So without further ado..

What do you think?

Do you currently have an MP career or would you like one?  Can you distinguish what you'd like to do for fun versus what you'd like to do for money?

Til next week!

*To get this delivered straight into your in-box, along with some other behind the scenes snippets, then please CLICK HERE to sign up to our mailing list*

Why making a change is so difficult for humans!...

I do a lot of talks to groups, usually business groups and groups for entrepreneurs.

A lot of what I tackle in my talks is this idea of 'change'.  So, how we can change ourselves as human beings.

Change can be as simple as making a simple tweak in an area of your life that maybe you don't feel completely happy about, or maybe for you it looks like addressing an area that if you really sat and thought about it, you know you could improve...even if it's just your diet or quitting smoking!

For you, it might be that something immediately comes to mind when you read this.

You may know instantly for example that you want to feel more confident.  Maybe you feel like you need more time to get everything done?  Maybe you want to change your body, your relationship with a significant other, or to grow or start your own business?

 The million dollar question then is, if you know you want to change this thing, why haven't you done it yet?  Maybe you've actually tried and failed.  Maybe you lack any energy or enthusiasm about doing anything? Maybe you haven't started?  Maybe you just don't know where to start?

What's really funny about this, is that there is a big contradiction when looking at humans and how they change.  The contradiction is this..

..Change happens in an instant, &

..Change takes time!

Now before you switch off or think I'm pulling your leg, let me explain what I mean.

Actually changing a set pattern of behaviour can happen instantaneously.  I saw this happen with my own Grandmother and it's a great example of what I'm talking about.

She'd been a smoker her entire life, and was the typical smoker who tried, failed and tried and failed.  She also was so addicted that she hid her smoking from everyone and would convince them she'd stopped (she lied if truth be known...naughty Nan!).  Point is, she L-O-V-E-D smoking.  In her mind she was and would always be a smoker.

Then one day she went to her doctors, having experienced a few health problems, mainly with her eyes.  It turned out that she had diabetes, and she was told that if she continued to smoke she may lose her eyesight.

She left that doctors surgery and never smoked again.

Something had shifted for her.  The threat of losing her eyesight presented such a re-frame that the risk felt too high for her.  And this is a good example of what happens when change is instant.

I'm sure you can think of examples from you own life or that of people you know where a similar thing has occurred.

Change can happen too by just deciding, but often fails and people quickly revert to an old pattern of behaviour, often as they end up just relying on willpower alone which is often a recipe for disaster.

This is why change that happens instantly, when paired with an external force like the health threat my Nan experienced, or some other kind of associated negative behaviour (to you, e.g. threat of redundancy, salary loss, a partner leaving), that change has a better chance of sticking.  Think about disciplinig a child...effectively it's like conditioning your own inner child to do/not do something as there's a negative consequence.

This then also answers why, change takes time.  It's not always the case that an external force is available to us, and as they're often negative associations, we don't readily seek them out.

There is another way though, and that is to tackle a change consciously and over a period of time.  A good example of this is Slimming World or the like when you want to lose weight.

This kind of action based change strategy does a few things to help you make a change.

It allows you to set goals and see small incremental changes occur, where you usually can feel/see the benefit.  It allows you to build a deeper understanding of what's going on and therefore what works for you what doesn't (which bodes well for when you dip or slip off your path), and it also very importantly this set up holds you accountable.

That accountability acts as that external force similar to what I mentioned before.  It's also why people who want to change or improve in some way hire a coach or personal trainer, or even therapist of some kind to keep them on track.  It means you're accountable to someone.  Someone is waiting and interested in your results!

If you'd like to make a change and you're wondering where to start, I'd like to help you by sharing the work I do which I know gets results.  It starts with you being open and delving into your thoughts and feelings about what you want to change.

In giving you something really practical, I'd like to then share the first part of the APE Model which is all set up to help you make a change.

These first 5 pillars are all about setting you up to give you the best chance of having a change stick.  These 5 pillars are:

Vision

Goals & Definitions

Knowledge & Skills

Belief

People

If you'd like to start to implement a change yourself, why don't you have a go at considering these 5 areas of your own life and how they can impact your area of change. You can start by just answering these 5 questions in relation to the thing you want to impact:

1. What is your vision for your future self/what does your future self look like if this change were to happen?

2. What knowledge or skills do you already have in said area and what skills knowledge do you need?

3. What mini goals can you create for yourself that you know will set you on your path?

4. What positive and negative beliefs do you hold about said change?

5. Who are your champions/the people that you know can/will support you in you making this change?

Just starting to address these areas allows you to start to get some clarity about what you're doing and how you're going to go about making your change.  The idea then is to be in action in regards to what you've come up with.  If you've set goals, start to implement them.  If you have a vision, stay focused on that vision and allow it to be used as your guide to help you stay focussed.  Go back to 'your people' when you feel like you need more help or motivation to stay on track.  Focus on positively associated beliefs and be aware when your negative beliefs rear their head....you can se how this starts to work and also sets you up for success.

If you feel like you'd like more help with these things, to dig deeper on the psychological underpinnings, and also to be held accountable then you can also sign up to APE o find out more about the training that's on offer as well as the free groups I run to help people who want to do this.  You can do that by clicking here.

Also, if you're in the UK you're in luck as I'm running a 2 hour workshop on the 9th June called The Mind Map in which I'm going to go through this is person and show you the true power of your secret weapon...your brain, and how you get to make these changes in a way that will stick.

To find out more about this workshop just CLICK HERE to be taken to a page to find out more.

You can also watch the video below to see what it's all about...

I'd love to hear from you and if you tackle these questions, wold love to know what you  see?  What exciting changes will you be making?

And if you're now of the people who's already bought your ticket totes Bond Map, I look forward to seeing you on the 9th!

Til next week.

Interview with APE client...Ali Baker!

I met Ali over 2 years ago while I was teaching a workshop for Women in Business for a local council.

I was asked to do a workshop for the women on work-life balance, something which always makes me smile as I'm not actually a fan of the term**.

Anyway, it was this workshop that led me to Ali.  She was one of the 50 or so women in the room who all wanted to hear about how to achieve a more balanced life.  And at the time Ali was juggling, well a lot!

She was working part time as a Primary school teacher.  She was also a Pilates instructor and ran her own Pilates classes 'on the side'.  In amongst all this, she was trying to spend time with her 2 young children, keep a home and help her husband who was ill at the time and unable to work.  To say she had a few things on her plate would be an understatement.

Ali, said that she felt pretty overwhelmed at the time, and she knew she needed some kind of external input to help her to make the changes she'd been aware she'd wanted to make for some time...so in today's interview you get to hear all about just that.

In this interview Ali candidly and generously talks about her struggles prior to our working together.  She tells you all about the decisions she had to make around leaving her job and going into business full time, and also how our work, and ultimately the APE Model, helped her to achieve that.

Ali has achieved so much in the time we've worked together.  And like a lot pf people I work with, the person she is today is, to some degree, unrecognisable as she's made so many significant changes...so to find out exactly what she's doing now, may I present Ali Baker...

I hope you enjoyed this interview.

I'm so grateful for Ali in sharing her story with us so openly.  She really is an inspiration and epitomises what is possible if you not only put your mind to it, but also your thoughts into action!

To be honest, I have to say that many people also struggle to talk about this kind of work and to be open about asking for help...but the way I see it, it's just like having a coach in a sporting context.  You can't assume to change or get better without really challenging yourself and having someone else help to achieve that with the tools and experience they've gained from doing it themselves.

Anyway if you'd like to know more about Ali then do head over to her website (which she is still working on) to find out more.  You can do that by CLICKING HERE.

Also, you heard me say that I'm encouraging her to try social media and so for that you can find her up and coming Facebook page HERE.  Why not go over and say hello.

****************

Before you go, if you’d like to have this delivered to your in-box every week, in which I share some behind the scenes stuff too, then do CLICK HERE to be taken to the sign up page (this is just a sign up to the weekly blog update).

Until next week!

(**I prefer to use the term 'life-life balance', after all you show me someone who professes to have a perfect work-life balance and I'll show you another 50 people that don't.  Also, its funny how these trainings are often put on by work places, in the hope that they'll make you more productive and able to compartmentalise somehow...essentially bringing more oomph to the company.  The trick, that some employers do embrace however, is to first honour the individual, everything flows from that point on!**)

4 ways you can overcome feelings of Imposter Syndrome...

Have you ever felt like you're not good enough?

Have you ever felt out of your depth at work, like maybe any minute you'll be found out?  That you're not really that confident, or that together or that knowledgeable about the thing you've been employed to do! Essentially that you're going to be found out..that all along you've been a fraud!

If you can relate to any of these feelings then you maybe be experiencing Imposter Syndrome.

Though this isn't a mental health issue per se, it can and does have a significant impact on you and your daily functioning.

It can impact how we feel about ourselves and our abilities. It can hinder what we do next, and how we move forward, and in short, your feelings of being a fraud and not being good enough may mean that you miss out on opportunities that come your way.

In today's video I look at this in a bit more detail and also share 4 things that you can do to start to overcome these feelings straight away.

So without further ado, click on the video below to find out what you can do today...

What do you think?  Have you ever felt feelings of Imposter Syndrome and if you have will you be trying any of these strategies to overcome them?

If you will be trying these things, I'd love to hear from you in the comments below.  Which one has worked better for you and why?

--------------------

Before you go, if you’d like to have this delivered to your in-box every week, in which I share some behind the scenes stuff too, then do CLICK HERE to be taken to the sign up page (this is just a sign up to the weekly blog update).

Until next week!